Ensuite Tout Suite
After promise after hissy fit after threat after more hot air, I went out in protest last night after we didn't see a storm out of epic proportions from my favourite and yours Sare Stare Bear. Plus life just got in the way so here's a super quick recap of the Monday episode before we get into tonight's no doubt juicy edition!
All contestants walk through the guest bedrooms, and everyone is shocked that Hayden and Sara copped such a criticism from the judges, but can find minor quibbles. Jess noticed the lack of Wallpaper after poor Wallpaper Lady from episode six wasn't able to lock in a sale despite being Sara's counsellor for close to 87 hours one afternoon in a crisis of confidence. A couple of minutes are spent looking at B & C's winning room but it's pretty much back to Sara saying that they're getting slaughtered.
Some contestants move floor plans; Kerrie has another conniption; power and water is cut off from Courtney and Hans for Jess and Norm to fix their plumbing; Jess gets into trouble for spending so much on an art (a Bromley! you'know);
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT THE EFFING EFFFFFFFFFFF TEN GRAND FOR A POSTAGE SIZED BROMLEY OF FLUTTERBYES?
Anyhoo, Scotty discovered that Jess claimed the paintin' cost her $2000, but that contravenes the no more than 50% rule. She's got to take it back and swap it for something cheaper.... (or of less value).
I tuned in live to cop Sara mid debrief: "...For Neale to say *that* wall looks like something from the 1980s, so are your clothes." followed by "I don't want to hear everyone else's opinion, I don't care about you're opinion."
Well...where do we start? No, only joking. Bring on your fancy bath that will get you back in the judge's favour.
Oh and Keith found out that Carla's bribed the crane operators with a slab. It's a BIG NO NO - Keith emphasising that rules have been broken, contestants don't use the crane there is to be "No cheating at all"...
Tuesday night, episode eleven bring it on.
"It'll blow your mind off". Thanks Sara.
All couples are now living in their apartments, loving showers and proper beds except for Courtney and Hans whose water and power is off AND their main bathroom dismantled all for Jess and Norm to undertake their plumbing works.
Yet to see a hissy fit from the dancing duo who usually get around in planes. And we probably won't. Elephant stamps for Courtney and Hans.
Keith has concerns with Norm and Jess and whether they have a handle on Penthouse living, and they're going to get some stone installed to 'dzjoojze' it up but we're told Jess is having trouble finding a Stonemason. Jess! Walk across the road to the Prince, guaranteed at some point in the afternoon you'll run into local fixture Cal The Stoner maybe he can help you out!? I need to consult on the next Block series at the Oslo.
Golden Girls Bianca and Carla are in all sorts of trouble. Foreman Keith has the shits big time, not only have they broken the rules with the attempted 'illegal' use of the crane but today they didn't have their paperwork signed off by Keith before the agreed time of 730am giving their site a brief tools down notification.
He's really on his rags today and continues his warpath down to Courtney and Hans where Foredan jumps in they're incredulous about the state of their apartment, and cannot believe the unlivable state it's in despite it not being their fault.
Dan gets it though "They're taking you for a ride, nothing's happened here for two days" but Keith is relentless "Man up, mate. Make them get down here and do it".
Hans goes forth and speaks to the main plumber upstairs and explains they're not allowed to live there and gets a 'my hands are tied' tell your story walking excuse back. He realises though that he needs to start standing up for their rights of being able to live there.
We finally get a glimpse of Sara who's back looking at her phone and awaiting another secret weapon. "The Baby". She's in her happy place. Oh the roller coaster. Now she's saying their WHOLE apartment is based on this, and they've splurged most of their budget on fitting out this bathroom. It's the ensuite for memory, yes?
For a man whose footy team is on the cusp of back-to-back AFL Grand Finals (that *is* a tigers sticker on his helmet isn't it?) Keith is very very grumpy. He's preventing Norm from hooking into his pickle-less Maccas cheeseburger to remind him of his duty to get his plumbing finished in a timely manner to allow other Block contestants to finish their work too. Keith points out that it's now four days (!?) into the week and WTAF are you doing to Courtney and Hans. Norm and Jess reckon there wasn't a deadline and seem to be on Queensland time.
Keeping his Fitbit busy today, Keith storms back down to Hans and yells at him about Norm not being in there, I don't like it when Keith's being the grumpy dad! THEN he chucks a bit of side eye unsuspecting Jess' way
A lot of sorrys and I don't knows later everything is smoothed over again and it'll be sorted mate. Yeah. It's the Block man.
Does everyone meet the height requirement? We're getting back on board the Sara rollercoaster for the big unveiling of T H E B R A S S B A T H her secret weapon! The Baby as she called it earlier - don't throw it out with the bathwater though hey!? Anyway, Sara and Hayden joke that if *this* isn't talked about and in a good way they will definitely leave The Block. (This time. True dinks. Pinky Swear. No doubt?)
Can only touch it with gloves, apparently. From this angle it looks like it could be just a kidney dish for a giant surgeon?
Keith's allowed to touch it but he hasn't got gloves on. Controversial. Will he love it as much as he loved the vertical garden? He mock vomits. That's enough for me!
Keith can't keep the rabble together so Scotty has to call a meeting at tools down. Uh oh.
The occupation certificate is invalid, Courtney and Hans aren't allowed to stay in their apartment so he rips everyone out of The Gatwick and makes everyone relocate to Bendigo. Lovely, who doesn't love a night away in Benders!?
Challenge number two awaits and this time it's for a special cause Kids Under Cover brilliant! Now they can't complain about being away and sleep deprived and not working on their actual apartments.
A new day dawns and Shelley brings everyone breakfast in bed! Each couple had the night to consider a design for their pods for the teenager profiles they've been given.
Guess what. Sara still has a meltdown about furnishings with Hayden. And it's a clear brief that doesn't involve them... *rolls eyes* Then we see how Hans and Courtney roll in a shop together but they some how let their differences not annoy each other. Much calmer. I don't mind a little terse conversation every now and then but a state of constant abrasiveness literally does my head in.
And another constant - but back at The Block - Keith is still cranky pants. He barks stuff on the phone to Bianca and then hangs up on her. What is up with old mate this week? Sure it's to do with waterproofing which is important but chill out bro.
One of my favourite things about challenges is when Scotty and Shelley help out, Scotty demonstrating his famous rolling technique to get a stupid doona into an even more stupid doona cover. Spoiler alert - it doesn't work
The only technique that works is the crawl half way in and then guide the corners to the edge and flick. Or similar. Maybe you have a better option?
Do teenagers like sporting memorabilia? There seems to be a lot of it coming in for most of the pods.
"As you get older, things get more stressful".
Yes Jess. I concur.
And then the go back to The Block and probably everyone will concur. HA ooooh and will tomorrow night be the night the fuzz turn up to see "one of the couples"?
I've been hearing a lot of conjecture as to what it might be about:
Norm and Jess for their stolen credit card;
Bianca and Carla for improper use of a crane;
Norm and Jess for a counterfeit or stolen Bromley or
Sara and Hayden for crimes against taste (lol, wink)