It’s Bad, Really Bad
Not sure what Jess is referring to in the opening with that statement, but I’m excited! And it’s terrace week. Home stretch.
All the contestants go through B&C’s winning guest room, and what a surprise Sara doesn’t like it. Into Jess and Norm’s room, thankfully I’m not alone but a few others are wondering why on earth there’s a hanging pot plant next to the bed - it would shit me to tears!
Sara doesn’t like Kerrie and Spence’s room either. Into Sara and Hayden’s room everyone was polite. To Courtney and Hans’ narrow room and Sara says she likes the styling. WOW.
To terrace week and we’re reminded of a revelation from a million weeks ago when a bidding war occured for one apartment to secure the services of champion landscaper Dave and we are also reminded of when Jess was told B&C were successful and she sent this text message to him:
Fun times. Both penthouses are out to win, we see the rough plans of both to use the features of being up in the roof. Jess is super happy but the dark clouds of Keith and Dan burst their bubble saying they hadn’t seen any plans yet. Tut tut tut.
Hans and Courtney have zero bucks so no fancy designer with big unapproved plans. There’ll be a table. Or a bench of some sort.
Dan and Keith are killing the vibe elsewhere too, some balustrading is getting done exactly where Hayden wants his guy to do some work, Dan offers a workaround but Hayden says yeah nah.
And to end like they began Courtney and Hans have a pretty annoying setback - the big ‘ally mac’ (goods) lift is being decommissioned today so every team is busting a gut to get their heavy order of outdoor tiles up to their apartments in time. But not Courtney and Hans, theirs are on another delivery schedule later in the day. Hans is a lot more patient that me, but he looks like he could actually crack this time.
Shelve that for one moment, grumpy Keith is back and it’s no surprise to hear him say that the landscape plans (that were late) for Norm and Jess will not be approved and begins to give a list of reasons why (built-in fixtures against their parapet is a big no-no). But Jess remains positive in a solutions-driven frame of mind, so she brokers a meeting between landscaper and architect so he doesn’t walk off entirely and put his name to a design that isn’t his in the end. Paal (Paul) doesn’t seem convinced.
But some people have real problems: Courtney and Hans’ tile delivery arrives well after expected and of course after the lift has been shut down. And they don’t have anyone working for them any more so they have to heft their tile boxes up the stairs - 25 boxes weighing 33kg each. NO! In the end he has no choice but to bring a pizza sized box up one at a time to the point where Dan has to say to Hans he needs to hurry up because his tiler’s laying them quicker than he’s bringing them. Helpful.
Kerrie goes plant shopping and says she might want some bamboo. DON’T DO IT! The house next door has a wall of bamboo between us and them and while it looks quite lovely against a bare white brick wall it’s insidious! And is growing out of cracks and places it shouldn’t be in our place, not theirs.
Back to Happyland and Sara with a mouthful of food screams at the camera “Where paying tilers to do nothing!” after Scotty explains that Hayden ignored Dan’s advice, so the three or four tilers have stood there doing SFA for three hours, but getting paid.
Lucky Scotty turns up and gets a barrage from Sara and Hayden about how annoying the ballustrade welding has been and is costing them a fortune that they can’t afford. Scotty pushes the point “Do you want compensation?” No. None. Not getting any. Tough tittes. Hurry up and get your tilers working while you’ve sent the welders to lunch!
Bianca and Carla get approval from Keith to use the chimney on their terrace to turn it into a fireplace, and while it’s an ambitious project (timewise) landscaper Dave seems unperturbed. And we cross to Hans who’s still schlepping tiles up by the pizza box. Five hours ago he started, and clearly bored Dan turned into his cheerleader and pepped him up enough to keep going:
They all get wish buckets: chopper rides, hot laps, day spa all acknowledged. But Hans and Norm got their wish - a beer with Scotty. And they reconvene at the Village Belle on Barkly Street later on for a froffie. BUT that’s not all, Scotty let’s them know they are also getting their chopper and hot lap wishes, they’ll be hoofing off to the GP track at Phillip Island later in the week. Geeze you’re a good egg Scotty.
Back up to the Penthouses and Jess is on the tools, starting strong by saying it’s “empowering” it is great being able to do stuff, gives you a great sense of achievement
But it doesn’t sound like she’s been given the right something or others by Norm to do it and things start to fray at the edges. The screws aren’t going into the wood the way Jess thinks they should and many have rolled down between the cracks. I sniff a bit stitch up when Keith walks over and asks how many are down there and when she says she’ll get a blower of some description and blow them out Keith is adamant that they will get stuck and rust and leech through the waterproof membrane so all boards will have to come up. Surely you’re only joshing great man. Anyway Jess is no longer required there and she gets a dig in about dark ages practices.
Hayden and Sara finally got some tiling underway and then Dan with the plans has to come and discuss some amendments to their feature piece for the terrace to help keep it structurally sound. Please tell me that Hayden will agree and move on quietly this. No of course not so the engineer comes in to find some common, safe, ground.
Penthouse wars sizzle at the barbecue supplier, Jess finding Carla in the shop already but saying that she thinks their choice of barbie is “a bit suburban” and continues on with her shopping and gets a spiel about a cooker that can work indoors or outdoors which would be perfect for Courtney and Hans but she says nah stuff em they haven’t let me have a pool. Savage!
But from joy to sorrow where Courtney is absolutely ripping into Hans who has been designated terrace designer, but she hates his tiles, reckons his ‘some plants in the corner’ is (sarcastically) groundbreaking. Yeaouch. They’ve come so far without losing it with each other, what’s going on?
Back to more sorrow where Jess calls Norm from the car in a bit of distress - their situation is more dire than she’d considered. They’ve run out of vouchers, probably can’t pay Paul (Paal) and not even Norm’s calming nah she’ll be right is rubbing off “it’s not all good, it’s bad. Really bad”.